TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains mention of situations of sexual assault.
National Girl Child’s day, a day to celebrate womanhood and everything it stands for. On this occasion, UPG’s NSS committee organised a much-needed self-defense workshop to help every woman defend herself from the monstrosities of the outside world. The event was scheduled for 24th January, commencing at 5 pm and lasted for an hour. This event was led by Mr. Siddharth Singh who is the founder of Crosstrain Fight Club, India's highest-ranked competitive grappler, Muay Thai Khan 14 graded instructor. Mr. Singh also shows various self-defense techniques virtually through his Instagram page ‘@cfcsid’.
The three things that carry out at an attack were first explained, namely, "the attacker, the victim, and the opportunity". There are 2 types of attackers that exist: "an attack by a stranger" and “an attack by a known individual". Mr. Singh clarified that when the attacker is a stranger, the well known and advised defense like gouging the attacker’s eyes, scratching, or kicking them in the crotch may be used, however, there are some precautions that also need to be taken.
The attacks by strangers are generally carried out when the victim is found alone, creating a solid chance for the attacker. However, every stranger is not an attacker, so, establishing verbal boundaries is the first step to be taken towards the individual in suspicion. Verbal boundaries are established by saying words like "stop" or "no" if the said person respects these boundaries, then there is less chance of an attack, however, if not then defense comes into question. According to Mr. Singh, the following precautions should be taken in order to be aware of your surroundings at all times, so as to reduce any chances of attacks.
1. Do not walk or travel through vehicles while listening to music or with headphones on.
Hearing is one of the most important senses, when you are listening to music while traveling alone, this sense is blocked, making you unaware of your surroundings.
2. Always walk in the opposite direction of traffic, that is always walk in the direction where the vehicles are coming towards you.
By doing this, you are aware of the vehicles coming towards you at all times, and in case there is a vehicle trying to force you in the car, the vehicles behind the car can witness the situation and help.
3. Never give up if the situation doesn’t work in your favour.
If there are several attackers or someone having a greater amount of strength, use all your force to fight the attacker, this makes the attacker aware of the fact that you are not an easy target giving the victim a chance to escape.
Further, Mr. Singh explained the 5-second window, where the victim either decides to give up or be as violent and aggressive as possible. During this situation, the individual has to make the decision to fight the attacker with all their might, whether it works in their favour or not.
As per a 2018 study by Glasgow University, out of the 991 women subjects, only 9% had attackers who were strangers to them. The idea that a perpetrator could be someone who the woman knows is often overlooked, however, is alarmingly common.
Mr. Singh threw light on the 4 stages in which the culprit attacks in the case that he knows his target. They are as follows:
1. Intrusion
It is imperative and essential for you to establish personal space. You must always stand by your word and not give in.
Examples of intrusion include:
“Why don’t you ever show me your room? You have seen my room, right?”
“Why don’t you let me hug you? Why don’t you let me hold your hand?”
2. The continuous crossing of boundaries
If the attacker manages to cross the boundaries once, they will attempt to do it repeatedly to make you numb to your discomfort. You must make it clear if you are uncomfortable with something.
3. Isolation
The attacker will now try to isolate you. You must firmly refuse if you don’t want to be alone with someone.
4. Assault
It is deeply embedded in society that women should be a nice lady and avoid fights. Some extremely common phrases that every single woman has come across are: “You are just overthinking; he is a nice guy.” “Don’t make a scene, everyone in college/ family/ society will know.” “His personality is touchy, don’t be so uptight.” These gaslighting techniques by society are meant to slowly make women internalize that their intuition is overthinking.
Subsequently, after the explanation, Mr. Singh conducted a question-answer session where audience members could clear their doubts. In the multiple situations given to him, by the audience, he emphasized on the importance of using one’s mobile phone by contacting someone or going Instagram live (or pretending to do so), as well as teaching kids the importance of consent from a young age.
The empowering session reminded the women in the audience of the strength that they carry within themselves and their ability to fight and defeat the demons in society.
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