Humans of UPG: Siddharth Sangani

I have been thinking about this interaction for hours and I’m sweating right now. Nonetheless, I have arrived here and I will definitely tell you my story. These two sentences pretty much sum up everything I’m going to talk about.

My journey started with me getting bullied by my peers at school. It was unusual for them that the little boy next door could act in films. My success pushed me away from them, or, to be more certain, they pushed me away because of my success. I was bullied verbally, physically and emotionally.

Even though there is light at the end of every tunnel, when a journey starts with darkness, it becomes a part of the person, not just the journey. Since my journey started with getting bullied, it is still a part of me. Even though it happened years ago, it still continues to bother me and comes back in different ways. It is one of the reasons I have anxiety and insecurities. Have you ever seen a ball coming towards you? You immediately hit it back. Maybe my past is coming towards me and I’m hitting it back.

Now that I’m a grown-up and I’ve entered college, I run away from telling people that I’ve acted in films with big actors because in the past that was followed by discomfort.

I might still not be ready to face my past. It is a part of me, but I’m ready to grow without it. Personally, I would describe anxiety as, “Knowing who you are and things around very well.” I hope I’m able to grow out of this.

Well, this is me, Siddharth Sanghani, standing in front of you with my past in my hand. I don’t know what success in life looks like. I don’t know when I’ll see money in my bank account and when I’ll be acting in movies again. I’ll go back to them and nothing will stop me. However, right now, everyday, success for me looks like vulnerability. Success and strength to me, right now, look like sitting in front of you, keeping my heart in your hands and trusting you.

I will not sugarcoat the word, “vulnerability”. Indeed, it is strengthening and beautiful, but it has also been used against me. There have been times I was hurt because people didn’t treat it delicately.

I have a very simple definition of ‘being nice', and that is being there for people. I feel the importance of it and might send a message saying, “Are you okay? You’re a beautiful human and you can call me if you’re not fine.” to an absolute stranger if I see them feeling blue because I won’t let anyone else face what I did.

I still get hurt, I still care, but I know that I’ll come back to you with my stories and place my heart and past in your hands again.