Walking through the crowded corridors of our colleges, many may feel you don’t have time to even notice those who are around you. The rush for class, the chitter-chatter with friends- who has the time to eye up the fast paced crowd? 5 seconds. 5 seconds is all it takes for you to lay eyes on that one girl; surrounded by hoards of people admiring her every word. She’s the “pinnacle” of beauty- fair, straight brown hair, perfectly tweezed brows and acne free skin. She’s effortless, she dresses in high street clothing and has an aura around her, she’s the it girl. In 5 seconds, you’ve deduced that you can never be her- and that kills you on the inside.
Entering the corridors does feel like a different world; the prying eyes of anonymous faces typing away on Confession forums and wisps of whisper bring about an overbearing atmosphere with every step. You spot her, the “It” girl, ever so stylish and surrounded and confident. Beauty standards don’t exist, not within our four walls, or do they? It is normal to find some people prettier than others, right? Where does the line blur from being a chick-flick movie to a classist issue our fellow students face on a daily basis?
“Don’t think about so much yaar, you’re pretty too- just in a different way.” Friends reassure you as you huddle into the corner seat and wait for your presentation to begin. You watch as the other groups come in and present- quickly wrapping things up to save on time. The It Girl speaks- the world stops. Everyone listens carefully as she skillfully speaks her presentation; with confidence and grace. With a pang of envy hitting you, you try to brush it off and give your presentation to a bored and distracted class who couldn’t be bothered unless you’re the It Girl.
The classism and lookism in many colleges in Mumbai has been an open secret. Many students fear speaking up or being noticed for not being “good enough”. With groups being formed before the first week of First Years can even end, a classroom full of invisible boundaries is formed. While it is normal for people in our age group to feel jealous and socially aware about their standing- this feeling is heightened in colleges all across Mumbai. Many native hindi speakers tend to feel conscious about their English speaking skills, while some feel shy wearing clothes that aren’t from Zara or H&M. It’s woeful how we have let these invisible rules take over our every being in college.
“Some boundaries are not to be crossed, some people are not to be spoken to.” Subconsciously, it is easy to divide ourselves amongst groups where we feel most comfortable. Where we go wrong is at the judgements we pass towards other peers. The more people know you, the more you are prone to the harsh attacks on your looks, your speaking skills, your clothes and your instagram aesthetic; it’s exhausting.
The unspoken bias we show can segregate “good looking” students from others in many ways. They have the confidence and the backing from their peers to apply for high positions in committees; while the silent bystanders, in fear of being judged, don’t apply at all. The loss of talent over fear of a few words is shameful. The standard of perfection that exists in these colleges is more than a mere sore point for the students; it’s a reality they must face everyday when they walk into their classes.
The endless stream of confession pages that exist on Instagram are the pariahs of social society of colleges all across Mumbai. The validation you feel when someone writes about you is unparalleled. An incomparable high you get from the feeling of importance, by a mere confession amongst many others. What’s worse than a negative confession? No confession about you at all.
Beauty standards will always exist, doesn’t mean they need to be followed to the T. Giving opportunities to those who find it tough to speak up, not judging the exterior for once- you might be surprised with the treasures our colleges holds. Letting go of strict social standards and beginning to blur the invisible boundaries that once ruled us; this is the foundation of creating a positive experience for each and every student that walks through our corridors.
Thankyou for writing this💯💯